You know the retail drill: fold clothes, refold clothes once customers come and screw up your piles, offer customer service, sales. Pretend you have to pee once an hour but you really just want to sit down and not have to talk to anyone. Oh, did I say that?
Author's Note: This question elicited many nasty remarks from otherwise normal customers. It struck a sour, immediate note. I once was yelled at because of this question and told I was a tool, whoring myself out for "The Man." I wanted to counter this attack by informing the yelling jackass that he was the only tool around here with all the pleated khakis and pastel polo shirts he was purchasing. Sadly, I did not. I was afraid at the time. That time has passed: Tool.
The Gap wants to know basic information such as your zip code, phone number household information, blood type (I kid). Basically, this helps them figure out whether or not a certain zip code would benefit from a store, thus resulting in the company making profit. It's all about the money.
So, being young and sarcastic ( but mostly scared of being yelled at again) I bypassed the phone number and started to fill in the zip code myself. I entered the most famous zip code I could think of, of any kid who grew up watching television in the 1990's-- 90210.
That is, Beverly Hills: 90210.
|The original cast|
The problem was, I used to cashier a lot. So, many a Beverly Hills inhabitant visited our Chicago location. I'm sure much to the confusion of the marketing department at The Gap. I just couldn't stop. My supervisor was horrified when I accidentally told her I was doing this and told me: "Let's keep this between us. Don't say that again." Sorry, the world knows now.
I have no true way of knowing if this swayed The Gap to place new stores in Beverly Hills, California, or perhaps changed the Chicagoland's marketing campaigns to appear more beachy to drive sales. I like to think it made someone stop and do a double take.
I wonder: Do market research departments have a "Beverly Hills: 90210" clause for their data collection to protect the information from getting skewed by jerks like me who grew up in the 1990's and can't help by type that zip code in unimportant questionnaires?
Do they shake their heads and say: "Damnit, those Generation Y-ers are at it again! Throw out all the data for the last 4 months--not all the customers were from California. The bastards got us again!"
If not, they should. If someone finally hires me to work in their retail marketing department (I no longer work in retail, and the company I work for could care less about your zip code), I will start this clause and call it the: Brenda & Dylan Forever Rule. Oh yes.
TV Show Rant: Kelly belonged with Brandon and she shouldn't have been messing with Dylan in the first place. Be real, Kelly. Take a good, long look at your life choices.
Ending Thought: I would apologize to The Gap, but I remember so many nights I had to work 3+ hours past my shift ending to clean up the piles of clothing left by crappy customers, or the year you told us employees we couldn't have raises due to budgetary constraints but gave the managers and supervisors bonuses.
Suck it. No one from Beverly Hills, California visited your Chicago store in 2008.
Whenever I hear the word "Sabotage" I instantly think of the Beastie Boys' song. In case you are like me, here's the video. Watch it, I know you're already humming it in your head.
I really do respect marketing data. Just not at that time in my life,